Go Back   Cinephobia Presents THE MORTUARY > THE MORTUARY > THE CHAPEL
Reload this Page How long would you survive in a Horror Movie?

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-20-2012, 02:11 PM
Nallix's Avatar
Nallix Nallix is offline
Invincible
  
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Ruins of New Orleans
Posts: 7,693
How long would you survive in a Horror Movie?
Fun little flowchart showing how long you would survive should you find yourself in a horror film.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 04-20-2012, 10:12 PM
Flesheater's Avatar
Flesheater Flesheater is offline
Autopsied
  
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: North of Pittsburgh
Posts: 498
I would survive to die in a sequel.
__________________
Nothing to see here...
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-22-2012, 01:58 AM
orpheus's Avatar
orpheus orpheus is offline
Nature's Revenge
  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 904
I'll make it to the sequel! Hopefully its in 3D!
__________________
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
--Alexander Pope

I tweet! Twitter
I read! Goodreads
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 04-22-2012, 10:58 AM
KISS Fan's Avatar
KISS Fan KISS Fan is offline
Amity Island Lifeguard
  
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Columbus, Ohio U.S.A.
Posts: 11,412
That's cool. I live to see a sequel.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 04-22-2012, 04:59 PM
Dark Mark's Avatar
Dark Mark Dark Mark is offline
Darkness Personified
  
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Die Burg der Finsternis
Posts: 8,322
It is hard to die if you are a horror fan.
__________________

And now, for our more dreadful sacrifice...
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-22-2012, 09:50 PM
Nallix's Avatar
Nallix Nallix is offline
Invincible
  
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Ruins of New Orleans
Posts: 7,693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Mark View Post
It is hard to die if you are a horror fan.
Unless you're in the SCREAM franchise, or any of the self-aware stuff that came afterwards. While you may not die, if you're lucky, you will probably be stabbed a couple of times.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-22-2012, 11:23 PM
Count Von Gangrene's Avatar
Count Von Gangrene Count Von Gangrene is offline
Embalmed
  
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Montreal, Quebec
Posts: 922
According to the chart, I'll live for the sequel but I doubt I actually would:

- Men have much lower chances of surviving than women...
- even less if said guy is nerdy...
- even less if said guy wears glasses...
- totally dead if said guy is not the final girl's boyfriend (which I probably wouldn't be)

Following the typical slasher pattern:
- Horny couple dies during the pre-credit sequence (5 min)
- Sex obsessed teen #1 dies (20 min)
- Sex obsessed teen #2 dies (40 min)
- Sex obsessed teen couple dies (55 min)
- Adult character (police or caretaker) dies (60 min)
- Sex obsessed teen #4 dies (65 min)
- Sex obsessed teen #5 dies (70 min)
- Sex obsessed teen #6 dies (75 min)
- Nerdy character (me!!!) survives long enough to help the final girl prepare (80 min)
- The final girl murders the killer (okay, she just wounds him) and maybe saves her boyfriend (90 min)

I would probably die, but live until the final round of the film.
__________________
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. - H.P. Lovecraft

31 days of Halloween 2012
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 04-23-2012, 02:26 AM
orpheus's Avatar
orpheus orpheus is offline
Nature's Revenge
  
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 904
It used to be that being Black meant you would be the first person to die, well, unless it was a Romero film.
__________________
Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.
--Alexander Pope

I tweet! Twitter
I read! Goodreads
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-23-2012, 09:34 AM
Dark Mark's Avatar
Dark Mark Dark Mark is offline
Darkness Personified
  
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Die Burg der Finsternis
Posts: 8,322
I'm sure I saw a far more detailed and difficult to survive flow chart some years ago which didn't verge on racism. Damned if I can find it though.
__________________

And now, for our more dreadful sacrifice...
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-23-2012, 12:48 PM
Meli Hooker's Avatar
Meli Hooker Meli Hooker is offline
Bibliognost of the Holocaust
  
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: OHIO
Posts: 2,514
I did in the first half hour!

Oh well...
__________________

Haters gonna hate.
Dreadful Tales
Twitter
Facebook
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 04-23-2012, 09:38 PM
El Goro's Avatar
El Goro El Goro is offline
Talk Without Rhythm
  
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Kent, OH
Posts: 1,187
Send a message via MSN to El Goro
I'm dead in the first half hour. Thought I'd make it halfway through at least. Ah well: hopefully I'm the goriest kill.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-24-2012, 09:39 PM
Jesus Wept's Avatar
Jesus Wept Jesus Wept is offline
Entombed
  
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,088
Just heard a cat screaming outside my window. Went out with a flashlight to investigate.

So then, I'd clearly be the first one to bite it.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-25-2012, 07:01 AM
Boris_K's Avatar
Boris_K Boris_K is offline
Grue Man Chew
  
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,265
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flesheater View Post
I would survive to die in a sequel.
Me too.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-25-2012, 10:12 AM
Nallix's Avatar
Nallix Nallix is offline
Invincible
  
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Ruins of New Orleans
Posts: 7,693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jesus Wept View Post
Just heard a cat screaming outside my window. Went out with a flashlight to investigate.

So then, I'd clearly be the first one to bite it.
Next time bring a flashlight...and a shotgun.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 04-27-2012, 10:49 AM
JaMaL's Avatar
JaMaL JaMaL is offline
Autopsied
  
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 270
I died..... I'm black.....
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 04-27-2012, 01:16 PM
Fred Garvin's Avatar
Fred Garvin Fred Garvin is online now
Man Whore
  
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: oklahoma.
Posts: 2,937
I'd survive 'til the sequel, mostly because I have guns...and I'm single:(
__________________
My 31 Days of Halloween 2012
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 04-27-2012, 01:19 PM
Clayton_George's Avatar
Clayton_George Clayton_George is offline
The Lost Addams Child
  
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: ..between my ears, I think...
Posts: 1,020
...I'd survive, but end up in the asylum telling the doctors this crazy story that no one believes about an alternate reality where it's all a screenplay and we shot out of sequence, and I had tea with the old man at the gas station because he's really a British character actor slumming for a paycheque...and then they up my meds...and I never see the lights go out...
__________________
...eggs....
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 04-27-2012, 02:14 PM
Jesus Wept's Avatar
Jesus Wept Jesus Wept is offline
Entombed
  
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 1,088
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nallix View Post
Next time bring a flashlight...and a shotgun.
There is no next time when you're shoveling your intestines back into your abdomen.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 05-23-2012, 04:49 PM
spookykat's Avatar
spookykat spookykat is offline
Congratulations! You're eligible for a custom title.
  
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: The Broken Shores of NJ
Posts: 5,810
I'll make it.
If there is a zombie takeover, I'm ready.
__________________
Ring the Bell
Quench the Candle
Close the Book

Deep into the darkness where I hide
The monsters are burried down deep inside
You never know when they're satisfied
Buried down deep where the sun don't shine
The monsters are buried down deep inside but
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 06-06-2012, 10:11 PM
Freakshow138's Avatar
Freakshow138 Freakshow138 is offline
Deceased
  
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Take a wrong turn
Posts: 18
I see a flaw. I tells me i'll make it to a sequel because I'm well armed. It didn't pose the question of chest size. Think my build determines my fate. Big ol titties on a small frame=death
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 06-06-2012, 10:39 PM
Stuart Feedback Andrews's Avatar
Stuart Feedback Andrews Stuart Feedback Andrews is offline
The Crypt Keeper
  
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Dystopia HQ
Posts: 6,867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Freakshow138 View Post
Think my build determines my fate. Big ol titties on a small frame=death
It depends on whether you expose them or not. If so, DEAD. Without a doubt. If you keep your sweater on....hmmm.....maybe you stand a slim chance. But I wouldn't hold my breath for the sequel.
__________________
31 Days of Halloween.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 06-07-2012, 10:46 AM
Nallix's Avatar
Nallix Nallix is offline
Invincible
  
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: The Ruins of New Orleans
Posts: 7,693
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stuart Feedback Andrews View Post
It depends on whether you expose them or not. If so, DEAD. Without a doubt. If you keep your sweater on....hmmm.....maybe you stand a slim chance. But I wouldn't hold my breath for the sequel.
Chances of survival are inversely proportional to the tightness of your sweater.
Reply With Quote
  #23  
Old 06-07-2012, 10:06 PM
Freakshow138's Avatar
Freakshow138 Freakshow138 is offline
Deceased
  
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Take a wrong turn
Posts: 18
Ah, you're right. I'll be sure to keep up the way too big style of dress and avoid water. Maybe I'll just be the tough as nails one you love to hate, who shows a heart of gold in the end when I save the nerd trapped under a shelf or something. I refuse to cut my hair or join the military though
Reply With Quote
Reply

« Previous Thread | Next Thread »

Thread Tools
Display Modes
Linear Mode Linear Mode

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:39 AM.

Contact Us - CINEPHOBIA RADIO - Archive - Top

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2013, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Cinephobia Radio